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Three Tips for Dealing with Divorce Stress

The Midwest has some of the most relaxed divorce laws in the nation, but going through a Michigan divorce can still be one of the hardest experiences of your life. If coping with the emotions from a breakup wasn’t enough, the compounded financial matters and concerns for future stability and security can cause stress to go through the roof. Since stress is the root cause of multiple health issues, this is a serious concern. The Holmes-Rahe Scale can help you measure the likelihood of a future health breakdown, but you still need to know what steps to take to avoid that altogether. The following tips will help you survive divorce stress and regain control over your life. 

Reflect, Accept, Move On

Everyone makes mistakes, but divorce makes it easy to get stuck in the regret rut. Those “woulda, shoulda, coulda’s” are normal thoughts that can lead to serious mental health issues and loss of initiative if the reflection borders on obsession. Once the divorce is finalized, leave the regret behind and stop playing the blame game. You have a clean break and you’re on the road to freedom. If you have little ones, they’re watching your behavior. So take a deep breath, grab a copy of your new plan, rebuild those standards, and start living on your own terms.

Literally Start a New Chapter 

OK, so maybe you’re not a writer. But if you were, this would be the perfect time to let your creativity pour onto the page. You could take that art class you put off because of responsibilities, or go back and complete your undergrad degree. Maybe it’s time to start a business or dabble in investments. Sprawl out on that oversized bed and get a good eight hours of interrupted sleep for a change. What about snagging a great deal on a gym membership or rebuilding your wardrobe to release the inner gem that’s been buried for so long? The shackles holding you back are gone, and now it’s time to focus on yourself. Enjoy the new freedom and make it count. 

This is also the time to focus on dreams for your future. Do you want to earn more money, get a better car, go on a vacation, or retire early? What have you put off during the marriage that would have potentially made you happy? What sacrifices have you made for others that have squashed your own dreams? Can any be included in your future? This is the time to find out.  

Rely on Your Support Network

By the time your divorce is final, your Michigan divorce attorney should have equipped you with all the cognitive information necessary to move on. But you’re still responsible for handling your emotions. Creating and accepting a support network is just the beginning. The hard part is allowing them to do their job when you need the support. If you’re stubborn, you’ll likely try to swallow your emotions and handle the stress yourself. But that’s a huge mistake. 

This is not the time to wallow in self-doubt and depression. Isolation is not the same thing as independence. A good support network can help transform feelings of failure and depression to optimism and help rebuild self-esteem. This is a good time to consider reconnecting with friends and loved ones who may have become distant during your marriage but have been waiting patiently for you to welcome them back into your life. Focus on yourself, the people who really love you, and let yourself be happy. You do deserve that. 
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